This is a very, very important question. Why are you REALLY getting married ? Are you truly in Love ? Or is there some other reason ? Was your marriage arranged ? Is this a financial arrangement ? Or perhaps a child is on the way ? Getting married is not to be taken lightly. It is a very serious affair and it is sacred in the sight of GOD (YAH). In marriage, two individuals (one man and one woman), vow to exist as ONE. Ask yourself this question: Why do I love this man/woman? But...before you answer ask this question: Why do I love ME ? Before you can Love someone else you MUST be comfortable with who you are. Too many couples make the mistake of thinking that someone else will be that "missing part" in their lives. Getting married means two people becoming ONE...not one person looking for their own missing parts in the other. It's OK to learn from each other. It's not OK to think that someone else will make you fully whole.
Yes...yes...yes communication in a marriage is very, very important. BUT... you must always be careful what you say in the heat of the moment and under what circumstances you say it ! Never ever say anything in anger. WORDS HURT !! Something said in anger CANNOT be taken back with a simple "I'm sorry". Despite what you've heard...the hurt does remains. The HOLY WORD of GOD (YAH) even speaks of the 'wrath of the tongue'.
Nothing tears couples apart more than the everyday stuff. Couples argue about finances, they disagree about how to raise kids and some couples even have major conflicting spiritual differences and beliefs. Most of us are innately "selfish" and really have a hard time sharing what we perceive to be solely "ours". I have seen situations where one person in the relationship makes more money than the other and this becomes a very serious problem. In most cases, the person making the most money tends to make the most demands in the relationship. This is so unfortunate and runs contrary to many teachings of Jesus (Yahoshua). Children can also be a major source for conflict; especially if the children are not yours. Raising children that are not biologically yours is a noble and beautiful gesture. However, you must go into this situation with your eyes 'wide open'. I do believe there is a special place in Eterenity for those folks who do help raise children that are not their own. There's a whole set of situations I address in regards to children when I counsel couples contemplating marriage. Another major problem for new couples are religious/spiritual beliefs. All of these situations must be fully discussed and honestly addressed before a couple would even consider sharing a Life together.
( Just a Note: There is no charge for any premarital counseling I provide. It is what I am called to do. It is my honor and priviledge to share personal and Bible-inspired insights with all...even those already married. )